Your bridesmaids are an important part of your wedding day, and their appearance will help to create
the look of your wedding.

Deciding On A Style

The most important gown in your wedding is the bride's, so it should be chosen first. Use this gown as a guide in selecting the attendants' dresses. The bridesmaids gowns should never be more formal than the bride's. Also, bridesmaids' gowns should never be longer than the bride's. The bride may choose the fabric, style, and design of the attendants' gowns. Try to imagine a photograph of the wedding party, rounding out this picture with colors and styles. When you are mentally building this picture, look at your bridesmaids. Do the colors and styles you have selected look good on them? Although the bride is the one who should shine at the wedding, it's nice if the gowns make the bridesmaids look their best as well. You may wish to have your attendants accompany you when selecting their gowns. They can offer suggestions but the bride makes the final decision. One way this can be accomplished with as little disagreement as possible would be to go shopping ahead of time and select three or four styles. Then get your attendants together and let them select the one they all agree on. One of your options is to try to choose a dress your attendants can wear again. If so, you will have to be very careful in choosing a dress. Most traditional bridesmaids' gowns look just like that - bridesmaids' gowns. You will have to be very selective in choosing a style and fabric, if the dress is to be worn again.

Where To Shop

The widest selection of gowns can be found at bridal shops. The one where you purchased your own gown is the most likely place to have complimentary dresses available. However, you may also wish to shop at department stores or specialty shops. The problem with these is that they may have the dress you love, available in only one color which you don't love; or the dress everyone loves, in sizes to fit only three of your five attendants.

Budget

Be considerate. Keep in mind that your attendants will be paying for their own ensemble, as well as any other expenses, such as throwing a shower, various gifts, etc. They will appreciate you keeping their budget, as well as their taste, in mind when selecting the gown they will wear. If you know that being in your wedding will cause a financial burden, you may wish to offer to defray some of the costs, such as alterations, or shoes and stockings. The bride or her parents can even offer to pay the entire cost of the gowns, if that is a feasible solution. Tell your bridesmaids to plan on putting down a 50% deposit when they order their gowns.

Style

When selecting the appropriate gowns for attendants, there are many factors to consider.

• The first is the style of your gown and the formality of your wedding.
• Another factor to consider your age, and the ages of your attendants. Older attendants may look better in more simple, elegant designs.
• Remember that, for most of the ceremony, the bridesmaids will be showing off the backs of the gown. Look at the gowns from that perspective as well.
• Spend some time with wedding magazines. Before you shop, show photographs of the styles of gowns you prefer to different bridesmaids, just to get their reactions.
• Keep in mind, the gown you choose does not need to look good on you. You won't be wearing it. If you look horrible in red, but it's beautiful on all your attendants, it may be the right choice.
• The figures of your attendants may also be a factor. A short, heavy woman may look ridiculous in a gown better suited for a very tall, thin woman, and vice versa.
• If your wedding is formal, you may wish to opt for a style which is classic rather than trendy.
• Think about the ceremony and reception. Will the gowns be comfortable? When dancing, will the attendants be restricted by their gowns?
• Ask if there are any dress restrictions at your ceremony site.

Color

Color is almost entirely a matter of personal preference.

• The only color which is generally not used is white, as that is reserved for the bride.
• There are differences of opinion as to whether black is appropriate or not.
• The color of your gowns will set the color theme for the wedding.
• If there is only one attendant, she should be dressed in a style very similar to the bride's.
• While the season of your wedding doesn't determine your color, it may affect the choices available to you. As a guideline, cooler colors are used in the spring and summer months, more striking colors in the fall and winter.
• Think about the color of the reception hall, or the ceremony site. Will the red bridesmaid gown go well with the orange rug at the hall, or will all of your wedding party photos look terrible?
• The maid or matron of honor may be set apart from the other attendants by a different, but complimentary colored gown.
• Flower girls or junior bridesmaids may be distinguished by the color of their gowns, as well.
• Keep your attendants' coloring in mind when choosing a color, although it's difficult to choose a color which compliments everyone.
• You may find the easiest way to accommodate your bridesmaids is to dress each one in a different color, for a rainbow effect.
• If your attendants have very different figure types, you may dress them in different styles, but the same color fabric.
• Be sure to get a fabric swatch to coordinate all other wedding items.

When To Order

As with your own gown, attendants' gowns should be ordered at least six to seven months before the wedding date. The gowns are ordered by the bridal shop, and custom made, so there is a significant amount of time involved. As with your gown, give the shop a date a few weeks before your wedding, so that you are sure they are in on time. Another hint - order all of the gowns at the same time, to avoid any discrepancies in color.

Last Minute Orders

If for any reason you are ordering your gowns for a wedding which is going to be quite soon, you may have two options. There are wedding apparel outlets, where you can purchase the gowns off the rack. This may prove difficult, though, in matching the color and style with more than one attendant. Manufacturers can also offer you rush cuts. In this case, the manufacturer makes the gowns and can guarantee delivery within a few weeks. Be aware, however, that you will be charged for this extra speed. It also may be necessary to pay for overnight shipping, if it will be shipped too close to the wedding date. This is an option that is to be avoided, if possible.

Having The Gowns Custom Made

As with the wedding gown, bridesmaids' gowns can be made by a seamstress. You can either look for a pattern you like, or take a bridal magazine to the seamstress and ask if the dress you like can be made. Again, as with your own gown, make sure that the seamstress is a professional. If more than one person is to be sewing the gowns, make certain all fabric and notions are purchased at the same time.

Accessories

The accessories are selected after the gowns are chosen.

If the gown is strapless or backless, your bridesmaids may have to purchase special undergarments for the gown. Make a note of these when you select the gown.

These are appropriate for bridesmaids, but are usually only worn at very formal weddings. You may choose short, lace gloves, or gloves to cover the entire arm. These should be worn only with sleeveless gowns.

These should coordinate with the bridesmaids' gowns, and each bridesmaid should wear the same style. They can either all buy the same style of leather shoes or purchase fabric shoes, dyed to match their gowns. As with ordering gowns, have all shoes dyed at the same time to make sure the color is the same. Use the swatches provided by the bridal shop to match the color of the shoes to the gowns.

If gowns are tea-length, these are especially important. Make sure that all attendants wear the same color and style of stockings. And be sure to have a couple of extra pairs handy on the wedding day, in case of snags.

It's a nice touch for the bride to give her attendants their jewelry as a gift. That way you are sure they will all match. Generally, a delicate necklace or simple earrings are enough jewelry.

Headpieces

Ask your attendants to wear their hair in similar styles, even if you won't be using hairpieces. If you are, simple should be the key. A small hat, a wreath of flowers, or a single flower. Make sure that all your attendants wear the hairpieces in the same way. If a single flower, make sure they all attach it to the same side of their head, or wear their hats tilted in the same manner.

Out-Of-Town Bridesmaids

If one of your bridesmaids is unable to be fitted at the bridal shop where you have chosen the gown, you can suggest that she call her local bridal shops to see if they carry the same style and make of dress. If so, she can try on the dress there to get her correct size. If she cannot try on the actual gown, she should send you her measurements. Make sure that her measurements are taken by a bridal consultant, to insure that the measurements are correctly taken. Order all gowns together, including those for your out-of-town attendants, so that all gowns come from the same dye lot. A nice touch is to take a photograph of one of your other attendants in the gown and accessories, and send it to the out-of-towner, so she can see what she's going to be wearing.

Extra Charges

If any of your attendants are over 5' 7" tall, there will be an extra charge for ordering an extra length gown. This charge is because the longer gown requires more material. In addition, if any of the attendants is a plus size, she will also probably have to pay a higher price for her gown, again for the additional material.

Fitting The Gowns

When the gowns arrive at the bridal shop, either the bride will be contacted, or the shop will call the attendants individually. If the bride is notified, she is responsible for informing her attendants. Most bridesmaids' gowns will have to be altered, to some extent. The bridal shop may offer this service, usually at an additional fee. If not, you should find a reputable seamstress. Make sure that the gowns are fitted to the same specifications. If they are not floor length, make sure that all gowns are hemmed to hang the same distance from the floor. If they are to be floor length, decide if they should brush the top of the shoe, or be hemmed to the ankle. Tell your bridesmaids to wear the same shoes and undergarments they will be wearing at the wedding. This will give the most perfect fit.

Do's And Don'ts

• DO keep a sample swatch of the material and color of all attendants' gowns. This will help immensely in coordinating the men's wear, flowers, linens, etc.
• DO use these swatches when purchasing cosmetics for the wedding day.
• DO have attendants wear their shoes before the wedding to break them in. A suggested method: Put on two pairs of heavy socks, then the new shoes. Wear them for an evening, preferably at home.
• DO take a small sewing kit to the wedding, with a spool of thread to match the dresses.
• DO suggest that bridesmaids dress at the ceremony site, if photos aren't taken at the bride's home first. This way their gowns won't be wrinkled by sitting in a car.

Questions To Ask

• What style of attendants' gown complements my wedding gown?
• What style of gown will suit the formality of my wedding?
• What color is best suited to the formality of my wedding?
• What colors in this print will stand out the most?
• How will flowers go with the print of this gown?
• What colors are going to be predominant in my wedding season?
• What flowers will go with (or clash) with this dress?
• Will this color (or print) present a problem in matching other items, such as shoes or headpieces?
• What type of special undergarments will they need?
• Can the undergarments be purchased here?
• What happens if any of the gowns are the wrong color, style, etc.?
• Can I have swatches of all material?
• Do you do alterations here?
• If so, is there an additional charge?
• What are your cancellation policies?
• How much of a deposit is required?
• When must the deposit be paid?
• When must the balance be paid?
• Who willyou contact when the gowns are in?
• If you contact the wedding party directly, could you notify the bride as well?
• When can they pick up the gowns before the wedding?
• For out-of-town bridesmaids, can I have the color, style number, maker?
• How do you suggest fitting my out-of-town bridesmaids?

© Wedding Planner 2002