The seating at your reception is simple, as far as knowing where you and your new spouse will sit. The rest of your guests, need a place too. Where will that be?

Seating Etiquette

When setting up any seating, you are not supposed to seat a husband and wife next to each other. They are supposed to be split up, to encourage conversation between others at the table.

• Alternate men and women at tables, with an equal number of each.
• Seat your guests at tables of no more than ten to encourage conversation.
• Use only low centerpieces, so you don't block conversations from flowing across the table.

Bride's or Head Table

The head table, sometimes called the bride's table, is usually set in a very visible place, so that all guests can see you. This table generally consists of the bride, groom, and wedding attendants. Children in the wedding party may or may not be included at the head table. A rule of thumb would be: Would the child be capable of acting in an adult manner? If your wedding party is very small, this head table may consist of bride, groom, their attendants, and parents. This would probably only work if the couple has a total of four attendants or less. The head table is usually rectangular, with all seated on one side of the table, facing the rest of the guests. The seating is generally man/woman. A typical seating would be: Usher/Bridesmaid/Best Man/Bride/Groom/Maid of Honor/Usher/Bridesmaid.

Parents' Tables

Traditionally, both sets of parents, the wedding officiant (and his or her spouse) would be seated at the same table. It is now more customary for each set of parents to have their own table, with close family and friends included at the table. These might include grandparents, siblings, nieces and nephews, or children of the bride and groom. If there is one parents' table, the seating would alternate both man/woman, and bride's family/groom's family. For example, the bride¹s father might be seated between the groom's mother and grandmother. In the case of divorced parents, it is often a much better idea to offer each set their own table. All parents' tables should be the same distance from the bride's or head table. If there is only one central table, the parents that have contributed the most to the reception should be seated there.

Children's/Teenager's Tables

If you have invited children to the reception, you may want to set aside children's or teenager's tables. If all of the children are very young (pre-school) they should be seated with their parents, because they may not be able to take care of themselves during dinner. If children are together in one place, someone older should be asked to sit with, and supervise them. You may think about supplying coloring books or board games for the children to play with. Teenagers may not want to be seated with smaller children. They should be given their own table, as well. College-aged students may also be seated together, as one additional group.

Place Cards

Using place cards, or assigned seating, can help to make seating arrangements easier for both you and your guests. In this way, you are able to put people together who know each other or share common interests. Place cards can also help you to avoid any conflicts that may arise from mixed families. With arranged seating, you know you can keep your mother and her new husband far away from your father and his new wife. The cards should be printed, one for each couple and one for each single guest. Proper names should be used. Eg. Mr. and Mrs. Peter Jones, or Miss Amanda Doe. The simplest way to use place cards is to have the tables numbered. Print (or have calligraphed) the guests' names on place cards, with a number. This will match the number of their table. These place cards should be set out, in alphabetical order, on a table in a visible spot at your reception. (At the beginning or end of your receiving line are good spots.) Another way to use place cards is to put them on each table, allowing guests to walk around the reception hall, looking for theirs, or with a large chart showing their names and table numbers. The only drawback to this is when your guests decide that you really didn't mean to put Aunt Sue with those cousins, and begin to move the cards around. All of a sudden, Aunt Mary is at one table, and finds that her husband Uncle John is seated at another.

Seating for the Wedding Officiant

The person who performed your wedding ceremony can politely be seated in a variety of places, depending upon his or her relationship with you. Traditionally, the officiant and spouse were seated at the parents' table, with both sets of parents. If you have separate tables for each set of parents, the officiant should be seated with the family hosting the reception. Alternatively, many bridal couples have, through preparing for their wedding, become close to the wedding officiant. He or she may also be seated at the head table, if the couple chooses. In that case, he or she would be seated next to his or her spouse, or in the place of a bridesmaid (if a woman) or usher (if a man).

Do's and Don'ts

• DO try to group people so they know at least one other person at the table.

• DO consider seating a table of singles. Maybe your wedding will spur romantic thoughts!

• DON'T seat elderly guests close to the musicians.

• DO put spouses of attendants at guest tables, not at the head table. (Unless they are also in the wedding party!)

• DO provide some tables, even if you are having a stand-up reception.

• DO seat children with a responsible adult if they are not with their parents. Some of these you may overlook may be the children of your attendants, your own children, or younger siblings.

© Wedding Planner 2002