If everyone knows exactly what they are expected to do at your wedding, it is more likely to run smoothly. Your rehearsal is the place to get any little problems resolved.

Scheduling

The rehearsal should be held either two nights before the wedding or the night before. It should be held at the site of your wedding. Make an appointment for the rehearsal with your celebrant(s) and your wedding site. All members of the wedding party should attend, as well as anyone who is performing a reading or singing. Participants can be invited verbally or by invitation. If there is to be a rehearsal dinner afterward, make sure they are aware of it. Request that they be on time. There may be more than one rehearsal scheduled for that evening. Also, this should be somewhat of a dress-up affair. Ask the women members of the bridal party to wear the shoes they will be wearing at the wedding, especially if they are high-heeled. It's better to get used to them before the wedding! Expect them to be nervous. Everyone may be a bit hesitant about walking down the aisle. It may take a couple of practice runs before everyone is comfortable with what they should do, and when. The rehearsal should help calm their fears, and help your wedding to run smoothly.

Make Sure the Ushers Know Their Responsibilities

• Ask them to be there at least an hour before the ceremony is scheduled to begin.
• Enlist their help in getting the wedding started on time. They should seat the guests as soon as they enter.
• Let them know how the guests are to be seated; bride's guests on one side, groom's on the other. If there are many more guests on one side than the other, you may not want to separate them, so the wedding doesn't look lopsided.
• Ushers should be reminded to offer their right arm to women guests, with her escort to follow them.
• Select the ushers who will seat the mothers of the bride and groom and who will lay pew ribbons or unroll the aisle runner.

Bridesmaids' Duties

• Inform your bridesmaids where they are to congregate before the wedding, what time, and what they are to wear. You may want them at your parents' home early in the morning, in jeans. They will dress later at the home or at the church. Or, you may want them to meet you at the ceremony site, an hour before the wedding, dressed and ready. Whatever you have decided, inform them all so everyone knows the schedule.
• The bridesmaid (usually the maid of honor) who will be holding your bouquet during the ceremony should be ready for it, and should know at which point she should take it from you, and when to give it back to you.
• If any of your bridesmaids are performing a special duty, run through it. The rehearsal is the time to work all the kinks out of any plans.

Other Duties

• Anyone who is singing, doing a reading or a prayer should also be at the rehearsal. Have them stand (or sit) where they will at your wedding, and run quickly run through their song or speech. Persons who are doing readings may need to adjust microphones or table heights, and should be prepared ahead of time. It may also make them less nervous about speaking in public if they try it a few times first.
• If you are having someone hand out programs before the wedding or maps to your reception site after the wedding, decide where they will stand, and how they are to perform their task. They should be situated so that they and the ushers aren't tripping over each other.
• If you are having more than one celebrant, you must decide which one will actually perform the marriage service. While both can contribute to the religious part of the ceremony, only one will legally marry you. That person will also sign your marriage certificate.

Rehearsing the Wedding

• Rehearse the processional. Everyone should start on their left foot. They allow the person in front of them to be at least four pews ahead. Make sure each person knows who they should follow down the aisle, where to stand (or sit) during the ceremony, and who to pair with in the recessional.
• Ushers usually walk down the aisle in pairs, followed by the bridesmaids, who can walk in pairs or alone. Traditionally, no couples walk up the aisle until the bride and groom are married. That is why, usually the bride's attendants walk into the church alone, and walk out with a groomsman.
• Don't expect the flower girl or ring bearer to perform perfectly. Keep your instructions for them short and to the point. Let them practice what they are to do, then hope that the next day they will remember. It won't help to over-rehearse them.
• Make sure the officiant knows how to pronounce all names and what you prefer to be called, especially if you are commonly called by a nickname.
• The officiant should provide you with signals. He or she knows that at the actual wedding you may forget everything you have rehearsed.
• If you have written your own ceremony, or have many attendants unfamiliar with your religious ceremony, try to make it as easy as possible for all concerned. Ask your officiant to provide cues to the wedding party and guests, such as "Please sit now," or "We will be doing this now," etc.
• Keep in mind you may be walking with a train. It won't get in your way, but might get into your groom's or others. Ask your maid of honor to help you with it.
• Practice handing your bouquet to your maid of honor. Remember, before you walk down the aisle with your new husband, it should be in your right hand, so your husband can take your left arm for the recessional.

© Wedding Planner 2002